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Obama Spends Afternoon Making Shadow Puppets

President Obama marked the conclusion of his first year as President today by spending the entire afternoon in his office, making shadow puppets.

“What I have made here, well, I guess it’s a dog,” said the President to White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel and White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs, both of whom sat on his couch half-asleep from extreme boredom, “I think once the doggy is done barking, well, I think it might be time for some change. Maybe a butterfly.”

Obama retired to the Oval Office shortly after lunch, claiming to be “pretty spent after all this Haiti stuff.”

He was followed by Emanuel and Gibbs, who had laid out a full agenda for the President’s afternoon and planned on going over it when they were sidetracked by the sudden shadow puppeteering session.

“I really, uh, needed to get a, uh, statement from the, uh, President, uh, about the whole Scott, uh, Brown thing,” said Gibbs, “Barack, uh, didn’t want to, uh, talk about it. He, uh, kind of, pretended I, uh, wasn’t there. It, uh, hurt my feelings and, uh, I want to cry.”

Gibbs excused himself to collect another tissue and see about burying his emotional troubles by eating one of the White House Chef’s signature chocolate cakes in its entirety.

“Go away! I, uh, hate you!” shouted Gibbs as he left the Oval Office.

Emanuel was about thirty minutes into a discussion with the President about Haiti disaster relief plans when he was interrupted by a cheerful shout of “Hey! That looks just like a Pelican!”

“It was at that point that I realized he hadn’t listened to a damn thing I’ve said,” said Emanuel, “It’s like he puts in an hour of work in the morning and spends the rest of the day goofing off. And who’s left to do the work? Rahm, that’s who! Who cleaned the f**king ‘fridge this week?! I’ll tell you who. Rahm. Rahm f**king Emanuel, that’s who. I also picked all the f**king relish out of his tuna salad, pried Sasha’s f**king gum off of Abraham f**king Lincoln’s desk, and cleaned Bo’s runny s**t off of Woodrow f**king Wilson’s oriental rug that he got from the f**king emperor of Japan.”

Emanuel expressed further frustration that Obama would probably go on TV tonight, talk up all the work done in Haiti, sing ‘Pants on the Ground’ and still be everybody’s hero.

As Emanuel spoke, the President’s voice could be heard in the background shouting, “Hey, look, it’s a saber-toothed Tiger! Rawr! Argh!”

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