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NAACP Blasts Racism in NAACP
 The NAACP has passed a resolution that condemns what it feels is rampant racism in the NAACP. Members passed the measure on Tuesday at the organization’s annual convention in Kansas City, Missouri, a city the group labels as a “hotbed of racism.”
NAACP activists quickly denounced the action as unfounded and unfair.
“We take no issue with the NAACP. We believe in the freedom to raise one’s voice in a democracy,” said NAACP CEO Ben Jealous, “We take issue with the NAACP’s continued tolerance for bigotry and bigoted statements. It’s time to accept responsibility and admit there’s not room for racism on this planet.”
In the resolution, the NAACP cited examples of the NAACP finance committee, which advocated a niggardly approach to spending. Furthermore, the “P” in NAACP stands for people, which could be construed as a euphemism for “you people,” a phrase that is offensive to ethnic groups.
“I don’t take kindly to being called ‘you people,’” said NAACP Vice President Ben Annoyed, “Would you say such an offensive thing to your mother? Don’t say it to me, then.”
The NAACP had little else on its agenda at the meeting. As the nation’s oldest civil rights organization, the NAACP has nearly run out of other organizations to declare as racist.
“Last year we passed resolutions condemning racism in the International Union of Seamstresses, the West Pennsylvania Chevrolet Corvair Club, and the Norcom High School Debate Team,” said NAACP Junior Vice President Ben Pissedoff, “The Corvair Club was particularly troubling. Out of 22 club members, all but one drove a white Corvair. Now what kind of message does that send?”
NAACP leaders reacted to the NAACP action with swift and angry derision.
“I am disinclined to take lectures on racial sensitivity from a group that insists on calling black people, ‘Colored,’” said NAACP Undersecretary Ben Pensive, “The NAACP is about condemning organizations for racism, not labeling other organizations as racist. After all, we aren’t the freaking Norcom High School Debate Team.”
“These accusations are just plain unjust,” said NAACP Treasurer Ben Itchy, “This is all about politics. There’s no proof here.”
But NAACP leaders feel there is ample evidence to prove NAACP leaders wrong. Ben Whackinit, director of the NAACP’s Washington Bureau laid out what he feels is proof during an interview with The Endive.
“After observing NAACP activities throughout the country, we began investigating the NAACP. It was reported to us that an NAACP official told the Reverend Al Sharpton to ‘get the f**k out of his parking space.’ Furthermore, NAACP activists have been seen with offensive signs which are almost always made on white poster board. Did you hear what I said? White poster board!” said Whackinit.
Many NAACP leaders publicly denounce NAACP racism.
“If you’re racist, we really don’t want you,” said NAACP Parliamentarian Ben Jonesinforaburrito, “Nutcases come out because we attract cameras, but we are a tolerant group. Well, except when it comes to Jews, but who isn’t?”
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